I've Attained First-Class Accommodations on the Express Train to Hell, if Such a Mode of Transportation Exists

So, Friday night, after a brief deliberation (i.e. Laura asked me if I wanted one, and I replied with a resounding, "HELL YES!") we decided to purchase a Nintendo Wii. I, personally, have been absolutely intrigued by the different approach to video-gaming the Wii offers since I initially read about it; but, had been hesitant to buy one because of our extensive PlayStation game collection. The PS3 is backwards-compatible with PS2 games, and I hated the idea of losing that capability by buying an altogether-different system. But, at the end of the day, I still have my PS2, and everything I've read about the PS3 tells me the system sucks; so, I'm thinking we'll get much more enjoyment, as a family, out of our Wii.

Along with the Wii, you also get Wii Sports when you purchase the system. It was decided that we should expand on our initial game collection, so we bought Wii Play (primarily, though, for the additional remote you get when purchasing the game) and wanted to get Mario Kart, as well. I LOVED playing Mario Kart on my friends' N64's back in the day, and knew the boys would like this latest iteration of the classic. We bought the Wii at Sam's Club, but they didn't have any copies of Mario Kart, so we tabled that purchase for a later date.

Saturday morning, we went to Edinburgh's Outlet Mall to return some items Laura had bought there a while back, and decided that, on the way home, and depending on the boys' moods, we'd stop in Greenwood to look for Mario Kart. We went to the Greenwood Toys-R-Us to look for it, but they were completely sold out, so we decided to head over to the SuperTarget in Greenwood to try our luck there.

As we're leaving the Toys-R-Us parking lot, I happen to notice - out of the corner of my eye - something laying on the ground in one of the lot's aisles. I ask Laura to turn around at the end of that aisle, and drive back toward the spot where I noticed the item. She asks what I saw as we're driving toward it, and I reply, "Hold on, let me see," just as she's braking, and I'm hopping out of the car.

Sure enough, there on the ground was a crisp, folded, twenty-dollar bill.

SCORE.

I yoinked that bad boy up quicker than a crackhead who's dropped a sliver of his last rock on the ground, jump back into the car, and immediately burst into a diabolical laugh. I show Laura the fruits of my exit from the vehicle, then place the cash back into my pocket.

As we drive out of the parking lot, and on toward Target, I make the comment to Laura, "Man, I just thought about this....that twenty was probably some kid's allowance money that he dropped on his way in to Toys-R-Us to get a new Transformer or something."

As we discuss this possibility, I get a recurring scenario stuck in my head: Little Jimmy super-stoked to be getting the new Optimus Prime, beaming with pride and joy as he proceeds to the check-out lane to purchase his awesome new toy with the money he's worked so hard to save. Then, as he places the package up onto the register's counter, he reaches into his pocket and feels the angst and horror quickly overcome him as he grasps nothing more than pocket lint, a rock intended to be thrown at a sibling's head, and a wad of ABC gum (ABC = Already Been Chewed, of course). Then, the ensuing verbal beratement by his mom or dad, scolding him for "not letting ME hold onto the money, because I KNEW you'd lose it," as he has to slink away from the register with nothing more in his hands than guilt and sadness over his lost allowance.

And, I laughed. I laughed heartily at this vision, because I WAS that kid, once in my life. Sheesh, probably more than once in my life, I'm sure. I can't remember any specific incidents, but I'm pretty darn sure I lived out this very scene, which helps explain why it was so vivid in my mind.

So, perhaps my consolation is that I'm teaching this kid a valuable life lesson - always keep your money stashed and secured until the very moment you're going to use it; and, reinforcing a life lesson of my own, which is to ALWAYS keep your eyes on the ground for a potential windfall from the faulty pockets of others.

Or, perhaps I should just invest in some hot-weather outfits for the afterlife, eh? Hahahahahahahahaaaaaa...


(K)