Jackson's been a bit under the weather this week. Nothing terribly serious - mostly just a runny nose, bit of a cough, a fluctuating fever, and complaints of a headache (from him, mostly, but we've been calling him one, too).
In light of his feeling cruddy, we allowed him some deviations from his normal routines; namely, he went to bed either shortly after, or in the middle of, our normal dinner time Monday through Thursday. This meant no baths after Sunday night. Now, in the winter time, we know the boys' level of activity decreases compared to the warmer months, and, as such, we go to an every-other-night bath schedule. Even so, waiting until the weekend was simply not going to be an option, so we decided to give him a bath Friday morning. He was feeling better when he woke up that morning, and we incentivized the bath by telling him he could take it in our bathroom, and that he could bring in his bath Crayons for writing on the tub walls until we scrubbed him down.
Well, Jack jumped at this rare opportunity, and we were happy to finally have him agree to a much-needed buttwashing.
So, Laura had taken her shower first that morning, and was well along the way to being dressed and finishing up her sink-necessitating duties as I'd stepped out of the shower and started my morning preparations. Shortly after I'd started the grooming process, Laura drew Jackson's bathwater, got out his Crayons, and let him start dawdling in the water as we finished getting ready. As I'm applying pomade to my hair and brushing it out, Jack asks, "Daddy, how do I spell 'Daddy'?"
I turn to see that he already has a "D" written on the wall, so I say, "Sound it out, buddy. D...Ah Ah Ah..."
"A!"
"Right! D...A...deh deh..."
"D!"
"Yes, D! D...A...D...and, now this is tricky, because there are 2 D's right in a row in 'daddy.' So, write another d."
"3 D's?!?!?"
"Yes, 3 total. 2 of them are right next to each other."
"OK. D...D. What next?"
"EEEEE sound. What letters can make that sound?"
"E? Annd....I dunno what else."
"Right, E. Now, this is another tricky letter. The E sound here is actually made by a 'Y'."
"So, D-A-D-D...Y?"
"Exactly! Great job, Jackson!"
Now, at this point, I'm thinking he's going to ask me how to spell Mommy, or maybe Kian (although, I'm pretty sure he knows how to spell and write both of those names). But, Jack does what Jack does best, next, and surprises the Hell outta me. He asks, "OK, now how do I spell 'STINKS'?"
I just start laughing, as does Laura, who's dressing over in the bedroom. As I'm pretty well done in the bathroom, I walk over to him and feign thinking really hard about the spelling of STINKS; then, I reply, "Well, I think it starts with R, then it's a U, then L." My intention is to trick him into writing "RULES," instead of the insult he thinks he's going to write. Of course, Laura cannot let this well-intentioned misdirection go, so she storms into the bathroom and says, "No, Jackson, Daddy's tricking! STINKS is spelled S..."
Laura proceeds to work with him in sounding out and eventually completing the Crayon-tinted insult adorning our tub wall. To add a bit of salt and lemon juice to my emotional wounds, she helps him add "I RULE," under the missive aimed at the man of the house.
I guess, as a parent, I should be proud of my son for displaying a sense of humor, and for furthering his handwriting skills; however, as a person, I cannot help but feel slighted at the subject matter chosen to foster Jackson's skills that morning. I hope to have a resounding show of support from all those that would read this sordid tale, and help me to bolster my now-shattered senses of self-worth and pride!
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